you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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