I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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