He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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