i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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