I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We had to coat check the pizza.
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This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
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pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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