i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
