i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
