Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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