I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
