maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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