Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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