haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
