i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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