help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Even my vagina gasped.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
