I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize