So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
