i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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