when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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