let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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