he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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