oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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