I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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