Don't you send me to vm
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
