She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
