I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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