Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
