so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
