Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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