please come you make the beer taste better
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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