the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
