Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
