who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
