so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
