this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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