look no pants
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
