Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
