I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
