I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
