i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
