Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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