Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
