You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
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I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
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i've created a new STD.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
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