I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
