I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
