Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize