I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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