ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize