Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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