i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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