We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
