Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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