Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
