I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize