I don't think brook has ever known best
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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