I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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