how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
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How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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