I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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