the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
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