I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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