Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
