so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Acid is not a monday night drug
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
