dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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