i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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