It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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