If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He felt like a one man threesome
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
