Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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