i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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