Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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