I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
