We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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