I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize