she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
