I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
