I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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